searching

i’m looking for a new job. not to replace my existing job, which is fabulous, but to augment my income because, to use the parlance of our times, i’m po’ as shit.

joan logged on to AIM today for the first time in about two years.

M************* (5:51:29 PM): in this case, mo’ money= mo’ ability to pay bills, and not mo’ problems as the old adage suggests

l********** (5:51:55 PM): the old hip hop adage

l********** (5:51:56 PM): lol

i am an assistant front desk/ front office manager at an international hotel chain. i love it. yesterday, i fired someone. i loved it. often times, i think that i am a nice and reasonable person to work for. i do not ask anything of my employees that i have not/ would not do myself. so why do i take such pleasure in firing people?

i know the answer to this already, but it does not satisfy me for some reason. one of my biggest problems has always been my inability to recognize that not everyone around me has the same work ethic as me. i work. hard. i take my job seriously and do not appreciate those who don’t feel the same way as me.

the man whom i fired yesterday was terminated due to excessive call offs. he kept giving us (my boss, dan, and myself) these sob stories about his sick nephew, his dying cousin, etc. maybe they were all true. but why would you have a job when you clearly do not want to work?

he called the hotel and i answered. the best part is he was calling in for that night. i told him not to worry about coming in that night. or ever, really. he was being let go. and then, something snapped. all of a sudden, he was able to make it in, not for his shift, but directly following it to try to reason with dan. to beg.

i enjoyed saying the words, “you’re being let go.” i enjoyed hearing him writhe and flinch and flail on the other end of the line. am i too much of a bitch? no. i maintain that i am effective and fair.

and perhaps i just really enjoy a large side of schadenfreude with my fairness.

new blog?

i don’t know why i’m creating a new blog when i barely post in the existing one. and i had one before my current one, but i kind of stopped posting on that one, too. am i a blog heart breaker? use one for a while, then dump it and move on, unrepentantly?

i don’t want this to be boring. my life is not boring, generally speaking, and i don’t know why i can’t convey that into words. i am captivated by my life, albeit a bit narcissistic at times, so why is my writing so banal? is it because i use words like banal just to prove that i know them (and then secretly open a new tab in firefox, m-w.com, and check to make sure i either spelled it write or used it correctly in context)? is it because i waffle between wanting to write seriously and beautifully and wanting to write hilarious sardonic pieces that people will take from online and infuse into real life conversations?

either way, here goes. i do not want to abandon livejournal. maybe i will make that one just for photos from now on because i had such a good time posting pictures the other day. (that may be a friends-only post, who knows?) i need to find a purpose for this blog. that’s step one. and step two is to aim to fulfill it. step three is to smoke less. it’s bad for me.