one of the saddest days of my life

i just found a piece of paper that i had scribbled on at work. it was written to remind me about a story that i wanted to share. i feel like many people have already heard this story, but it definitely bears repeating.

when i was a freshman at canisius, for quad party, my friends and i made matching t-shirts. we called ourselves the core. CORE! on floor four! and yes, i was in room 420, which made me very popular with a certain demographic. which i was very happy about.

anyway, for this particular quad party, we made a bunch of jello shots. about 400 in all. literally. i was 18 and two months at this point. how the hell i got my hands on enough liquor to make 400 jello shots, i don’t even remember now, but it gives me hope and confidence for the safety and wellbeing of my younger brothers right now (ages 17 and 18).

they had a carnival in the parking lot of the athletic center. there were games where you could win goldfish, fried dough, cotton candy, and even a sumo wrestling mat and suits. i have always wanted to do that sumo thing, so i put my name on the list with my friend bob grabowski.

bob and i were gunna sumo wrassle.

finally, after what seemed like an eternity, our names were called. i was certain that i was vicious enough to take down bob who was about 3 inches shorter than me and about 50 pounds heavier than me. sure i was tall and lean, but he didn’t know what was coming!

we strapped into our gear, and the helmet felt a little loose, the suit felt a little tight, but alas, i was drunk off jello and going to sumo, come hell or high water.

the whistle blows. we start to wrestle. walking in this thing is a huge spectacle. all our friends are cheering us on. i bump into bob, we both stumble backwards. i just enjoy myself walking around in this hilarious monstrosity. bob takes a half hearted belly bump at me and i fall over backwards.

i fall over backwards and black out for three seconds. apparently, the helmet was really too loose, and when i fell, the helmet hit the ground and my head hit the helmet. damn. this was at about 1:30 pm. quad party lasts all day.

so this is the story of how i got a concussion on quad party day from sumo-ing. i couldn’t drink for the rest of the day so i went to my room and burned cds for people. i made my boyfriend at the time come to my dorm room (and stop drinking) and keep me awake so i wouldn’t die in my sleep from sumo-related injuries.

what did i write on the piece of paper to remind myself of this?

concussion in a fat suit.